Showing posts with label injuries related to falling down the stairs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label injuries related to falling down the stairs. Show all posts

Saturday, February 6, 2010

What's Wrong with Wine Today:


Really people?

2008 Chateau Lavergne Bordeaux 187ml (3.99 retail)
Pairs with: A hospital visit after you are savagely beaten and maimed.

Hooray! Disgusting Bordeaux in a mini plastic beer glass (perfect for on-the-go) has arrived! I don’t know, there’s something about the sight of someone enjoying one of these that would make me want to push them down a flight of stairs.

I can’t think of any reason, especially with so many great wines available in a screw-cap, anyone would ever fall for this marketing strategy.

Maybe you:

1. Have no self-respect.
2. Work for a large distributor and have been forced to sell your soul to “move units”
3. Think it’s really cute (god I hate you)
4. Like wine that tastes like wet cardboard.
5. Enjoy cracking into your wine in the same manner as you would a snack-pack of Mott's Apple Sauce.
5. Also enjoy this product:



Chocovine
Pairs with: The worst day of your life.

“The taste of Dutch chocolate and fine red wine” gives way to a delightful mélange of an inebriated homeless person who pounded a YooHoo chocolate drink and then threw up.


Don’t be fooled by the tranquil windmill scene on the label, it’s going to be a rugged journey. This wine conjures up images of reindeer sweater-wearing shitheads drinking out of reindeer mugs, urging each other to “just try it – you can’t even taste the booze!”

My pal Drew said he would rather shotgun a 24oz. Budweiser Chelada.

No. Just Say No.