Reckless Eating.... Done Dirt Cheap.

Last Sunday it was off to Boston for a day of gluttonous eating with Nolan, Dietz and Drew. We got an early start in Drew’s Hummer, and I was put in charge of holding the EZ Pass for the ride down (a duty which I took VERY seriously).

The first stop was Chau Chow City (Essex St.) in Chinatown for Dim Sum. The minute we rolled in, it was like “Assault Lunch.” We were encircled by 3 carts as we put our coats away, and 30 seconds later we had 8 items on the table. 2 minutes and 37 seconds later that number grew to about 15. The relentless assault continued until we had to firmly call an end to the madness.



Now it was time to enjoy some tea and assess the table. We had several different kinds of dumplings, fried shrimp, marrow bones, 6 unidentifiable but delicious things, sweet fried sesame balls, mystery meat (shrimp?) on sugar cane, pork & chicken buns, gyoza, sweet bean curd wrapped something, and other stuff. 15 minutes and 45 seconds into it, we were done eating. Our entire bill was $49.00.

We then sauntered around on the coldest day of the year (I broke out my "winter look") to different markets in the area, which were all pretty close together. We found one shop a little of off-the-beaten-path that was selling live turtles and frogs, among other things. There was also a gigantic market, where we spent about an hour wandering around in awe. I purchased a Chinese chef knife, a meat cleaver, and a cutting board (which we will discuss shortly). These places are incredible, with every meat product you could ever want and fish killed to order. While we were waiting in line I found little cakes in the shape of pigs for 99 cents. Naturally, I found these delightful and purchased a few. As I was paying, one of the employees from Ginza town on Forest Avenue walked in. He asked Dietz and I where we’d been, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Miyake has ruined Japanese food anywhere else for me…



We head to Somerville to stuff our face with Mexican food. Tacos Lupita (Elm St.) is first for pork tortas (messy and delicious sandiches, pictured below) and chorizo tacos. It is here that I begin to find out the hard way that having several large horchatas (spiced rice milk beverages) while on an eating spree can slow you down severely.



We then head over to Cantina Mexicana (Washington St.), which was kind of disappointing. They only had table service and the tacos were fairly bland despite being almost inedibly salty. The waitress amused me, however, when she dropped the check and THEN asked if we would like anything else. I'm pretty full at this point but we decide to hit one more spot.



Tapatio (Broadway) puts me over the edge. I order a carne asada burrito, another horchata, and a few tongue tacos for the table. Everything is delicious, but I'm in serious pain by now. I decide to go smoke a cigarette while Nolan spends 15 minutes waiting for the bathroom. After a quick trip to the liquor store, we decide to call it a day.



The ride back is very quiet, Dietz falls asleep while Nolan drinks an entire pint of Jagermeister. I get home and take the plastic off of my new cutting board, which then leads to me to believe that it is made from "vintage outhouse wood." It smells fucking awful. Granted, it only cost me 14 bucks (It did seem a little too good to be true), so I try washing it and then oiling it for a few days. Now my whole kitchen stinks, and I ponder throwing it away. This decision is solidified when Dietz tells me that there has been a problem with wood coming from China as of late being infested with dormant beatles.

Lastly, I'd like to share with you the product of the day, Enjoy!