Saturday, December 19, 2009

Linda Bean's Maine Lobster Roll: Perfect on Opposites Day

What a bunch of bullshit....

I was in a perfectly good mood tonight, hanging out in the kitchen at the Old Port Sea Grill. Drew mentions that Linda Bean's Perfect (fuck you) Maine Lobster Roll had opened today so we decide to do a little research to see how it matched up with the OPSG version (which is delicious).

This is before I knew, mind you, that Linda actually doesn't like the word "claw" because she thinks it's "scary." She prefers to call them "cuddlers (i've got something for you to cuddle with...)" As I type, I'm resisting the urge to break things.

It's located in the old Javanet spot, and has been re-done with pictures of lobsterman and a full bar. Who the hell would actually hang out and drink at this bar, I have no idea...

We purchased two "perfect (blow me)" lobster rolls (15.50/each) and a small lobster stew (7.95).

The lobster rolls were served on hot dog buns and tasted like frozen meat with dill. Absolutely disgusting. I've had very few lobster rolls that I've truly hated, and this was the worst.

Now let's talk about the "lobster stew." This gluey mess tasted like it was 70% sherry with a hint of frozen lobster meat. Everyone agreed that it was INEDIBLE.

The highlight of our meal were Mrs. Vicki's salt and vinegar kettle chips, too bad she had nothing to do with the rest of the food....

Honestly, I didn't have high expectations but using the term "perfect (suck it)" in the name aroused my curiosity.

Never Go Here.

Your Pal,


I'll leave you with a quick taste of N.L. in her review of Hugo's:

Short rib (23.00) gave way at the pressure of the fork intent on it's destruction.

I've got a fork with a certain someone's name on it....